Author: Allison

I sit next to you and listen to you speak. I want to jump in and scream

“You’re wrong – how can you think that?”

but I just listen.

And realize the enemy isn’t really each other, it’s a lack of understanding, a lack of sitting down with those who aren’t like you, and really listening.

Misinformation, propaganda, lies, not sure what to believe anymore, maybe just maybe, we can sit with a person and listen to their heart, their needs. We can gain an understanding instead of being so quick to hate, them vs. us.

It doesn’t get us anywhere, but more people dead, more cities destroyed, more chaos, more destruction. The way things are going just doesn’t make sense, we are destroying each other, and for what? What is the end goal?

Because this hasn’t worked for the whole time we’ve been at it (the whole time we’ve been here) so maybe just maybe please can we trying something else.

I know my heart is broken even from afar and I can’t even image the hurt those who are near feel from these tragedies. Needs to stop.

Can you imagine how wonderful this place would be if we could all exist without fear of one another? How freeing that would be.

2016-12-22

It’s not either or. Of course God can help you make the push to get out of bed in the morning, but you are still the one to make that decision (free will). Without God, I would have NO hope.

God also gave us the church, which signifies that we aren’t meant to do this alone. We are meant to help each other through things.

AND professional help (therapy AND medication) if you have a mental illness. Without ALL of those aspects I would probably have died by suicide by now and because of those things I haven’t attempted in 5 years (after 10 years of constantly trying). C.G., as well as some of the pastors who know me well, can vouch for the DBT therapy I received. I would constantly hear things like “you gotta change the way you think” but I never knew how until I did that program.

And the church… if it wasn’t for the church, from the clergy who was a part of the hospital that I was in in my last attempt, who gave me devotional materials and starting back on the right path, to coming to New Life and experiencing love and forgiveness, even when I was being an a**. I was very alone and isolated when I first moved here.

Sorry not sorry, but I couldn’t hold this in.
“And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony…” (Revelation 12:11)

And please, if you are ever in the situation where you are feeling suicidal, you can reach out to me. I’m no professional, but I can sit with you and listen or just be there quietly with you.

Hates a strong word, but these people are dumb asses who put everyone else in danger, especially their own crouch ggoblins.

Friend posted this on Facebook

40 cases of whooping cough diagnosed last week in Santa Clarita (VIDEO)

My response:

As it says, and with all vaccines, they are not 100% effective, for some reason people don’t get the immunity, and some vaccines only last 10 years. That’s why it’s critical that everyone gets them, hard immunity is important for those who cant get the vaccine (ex. Cancer patients and other compromised people). It helps to prevent the spread of it. Nothing is 100% perfect and scientists are always looking for better ways to do things. A seat belt doesn’t 100% work 100% of the time but I’ll still wear it because it gives me some protection vs flying through the windshield. I’d rather get a poke in my arm then getting the flu again. Even if there are a bunch of strains of it, it reduces my chances of getting it again. Viruses, bacteria, they all evolve and mutate.

I’m trying to go through my clothes and get rid of things I don’t ever wear.

For things hanging in the closet, I started with hanging all the hangers backwards and as I hang up my clothes from the laundry, I put them hanging the right way. Then about once or twice a year I look to see if I’ve worn the item. If it’s situational (formal dress, suit, etc), I leave it alone. The rest goes in a basket designated for this purpose. When the basket gets full, I go through it, and if for some reason I still want to hold onto it, I might give it another chance, otherwise I donate it.

I just saw an idea of designating clothes “on the bench” so I’m going to try and figure something out for that.

I was putting away laundry and trying to go through my pants in the dresser and thinking of a way I could designate what I’ve worn. What I’m going to try is put all the pants inside out and the next time I put clothes away, I’ll put them right side out, then when I purge I’ll know which ones I wore.

Is all or nothing thinking preventing you from doing shit

I don’t have time to go to the gym

Yo first of all we all get the same 24 hours, it’s up to you what you make a priority

Maybe you don’t have a ton of free time… go for a 15 min walk

ANY EXERCISE IS BETTER THAN NONE AT ALL!

Got chronic pain, depression… yeah I got more issues than a fucking magazine, but I KNOW my physical health contributes to my mental wellbeing. Being able to lift more shit is amazing and doing things I never thought I’d ever do… real floor pushups, bench presses, etc…

Maybe you literally are paralyzed … guess what, fitness is like 90% (not an actual accurate percentage) diet and not fucking crash diets either but what you eat on a regular basis. Eat a lot of fucking vegetables and protein, fruit. Oh, you’re a picky eater, well so am I. I probably eat like a total of 15 foods… yeah so fucking do it. Vegetables are fucking awesome, you can eat a shit load and it won’t make you gain weight.

Meal prep, measure everything with a food scale. Find a way to stay consistent. For me, its paying for a trainer because I have adhd and I lack internal motivation.

So stop thinking it has to be all (10 hours in the gym) or nothing (never moving from the couch) and move your body, eat something healthy, and stop with the stupid fucking mlm fad diet shit. Find something you can actually do the rest of your life.

When I was in the midst of an eating disorder and would run for hours on end, I “motivated” myself by telling myself how much I suck and saying “come on fatty”.

Now I am trying to get back into running by doing the couch 2 5k program again. It feels defeating sometimes to have to start over. I used to run for at least an hour a day and even got up to 12 miles.

Now I’m starting over, and my goal is to be able to run 5k consistently. When I start the app and it shows the runs I’ll be doing, I get intimidated, start thinking, there’s no way I can do this.

But now… I can use positive self talk and I say “you’re a badass, you got this, you can do it” and I do.

I am so proud of myself for completing the goal for that day, but more importantly, I am proud that I can sometimes have positive self talk.